It’s Naked Party Time!!! by Charlie Blueduck
Howdy my dear party animals!
Are y’all ready!?
Prior to today’s party, I’ve been doing some carnal rehearsals abroad. Mainly, whoring it out in Europe as a prelude to what is supposed to come today. In more ways than one, I’m sure.
You horny lot.
In any case, last time I mentioned how I’ve been glowing like a chubby hard on with fluorescent colors and shit after eating McDonald’s radiation water and sticking it in the wrong places.
Now, it’s been about 4 weeks since I’ve been glowing like a light saber, in the shape of a duck and rumor has it that animal control has me in their top ten most wanted for indecent exposure (apparently only cats and dogs are the only ones allowed to publicly display affection for their privates parts).
To compliment it, with a red cherry on top, they want to fry my ass too. Apparently I’ve caused too much of a raucous partying all over New York and it’s caused a socially infectious epidemic that makes people turn into fluorescent colors, just like yours truly.
So they are calling me a disease, how dare they!?
Therefore, meantime, I ask all of you to let me hide among yourselves tonight, since everyone will be glowing, I’m sure I will fit right in. Feel free to hide me in the usual body crevices, holy mounds and other (erogenous and otherwise) areas you can squeeze me in, protect me from harm and have a blast at tonight’s party.
Respect, drink responsibly and have fun, you guys!!!